Opening to Healing from Within
Opening to Healing from within has been on my mind, body and spirit quite a bit this past month. I will begin the story with it all began one clear day when the sun was shining and life felt good. I am in life feeling the gratitude of its blessings and then a pulsation of life is good pulls me in another direction. This pull was speaking to me, asking me to awaken. Awaken to what exactly I was not sure yet. As we know the pulsation sometimes can be strong taking you sometimes too fast and the balance of both push and pull can move to extremes.
My extreme began when I pushed a place in my body to far to a place where the balance no longer existed. It was something simple I lifted my tailbone to fast, too much and too far. I focused on one component and lost the balance with all the others. The others being opening to grace, muscle energy and for me mula banda the core muscles below my navel. This seems like a simple shift yet for my body it was an extreme which followed with lots of pain in my lower back.
Now the story becomes more intense and full of color. The pain was super real so I went about it very logical way I can fix it and so I tried and tried and tried only to be awakened to the real meaning of opening to healing. In the midst of deep pain where a simple lunge felt like my body was coming apart, I surrendered to the pain. I surrendered to something beyond this physical and mental adversity. My cup which was previously full of fixing techniques and looking to solve the problem was now totally empty. It was from this empty cup I surrendered to myself and then to a energy, power, a divinity that exists within me and extends out to so much more beyond me.
During this journey I had a wonderful teacher right there to be my guide and to provide me with a message: continue practicing, you can redefine and change these imprints and sometimes we need to revisit them continually over and over to receive the message and allow the new imprint to be formed. You are changing patterns. My cup was now full of light and hope. The journey still continued. I would return back to these places of discomfort only to receive myself again, open to the grace ….surrender. Each time I came back to this place I continued changing the imprints and patterns.
Today the pain does not exist with that intensity, it has subsided and leaves a faint touch every so often. I awakened to something so much greater than the physical or mental. I woke up to myself and to what is beyond me. The pain was my mere lesson to arrive at this destination. So I continue to work because that faint touch every so often is a reminder that I must practice again and again this moment of surrender and that opening to healing begins with an absolute surrender of the heart.
Poem by Hafiz – All the Hemipsheres
Leave the familiar for a while.
Let your senses and bodies stretch out
Like a welcomed season
Onto the meadows and shores and hills.
Open up to the Roof.
Make a new water-mark on your excitement
Like a blooming night flower,
Bestow your vital fragrance of happiness
Upon our intimate assembly.
Change rooms in your mind for a day.
All the hemispheres in existence
Lie beside an equator
In your heart.
In your thousand other forms
As you mount the hidden tide and travel
All the hemispheres in heaven
Are sitting around a fire
While stitching themselves together
Into the Great Circle inside of
~ Hafiz ~